ESFJ compatibility with ESTP in relationships (2023)

Both are traditionalists and there are many similarities in what they value. Each of you trusts the past and what has worked many generations before you. The two share an appreciation for rules and are more comfortable than embarrassed by institutions and traditions. Because of your fundamental similarities in values ​​and approach, you likely feel a strong connection with this person.

Deep down, they are deeply practical and logical people. They have a strong sense of duty and will play their role as morally upright and socially responsible members of their community. Both assume responsibilities and fulfilling their obligations is an ethical obligation for both. You are unlikely to let the other person down by being careless.

They have slightly different values ​​when it comes to relationships. You tend to be intensely interested in people and to serve them in practical ways. You are compassionate and emotionally involved, and you seek harmony in your relationships. You prioritize closeness and connection and tend to worry too much if you don't get the intimacy you want.

The other person tends to be emotionally distant and may hurt you with their direct and sometimes tactless words. You tend to take criticism personally and can become overly emotional and defensive in the face of negative comments. In your defense, your counterpart may not understand your desire for intimacy and not realize that you are insensitive. To smooth the waters, you may need to put your feelings aside and approach the situation objectively, which is the preferred way of navigating the world.

Basically, you tend to show affection much more naturally than your partner. Even if you are initially attracted to your counterpart's objective and uncompromising approach, it is likely that you will be dissatisfied if you show too much at the expense of intimacy. On the other hand, your partner may find you overly emotional and complicated, although he appreciates your tender heart.

Here is the opportunity to introduce each other to new ways of thinking. Both are known for holding values ​​that are important to you, but they can help your interlocutor understand the emotional consequences of their behavior, while also helping you to lead with your head over your heart. The challenge for you is not to get too upset if your partner doesn't give you the emotional support you desire while you calmly carry out your duties.

You tend to value hard work and achievement, in contrast to your counterpart who values ​​just enjoying life. While you tend to be serious and goal-oriented, you are more relaxed and content with going with the flow. They may seem unmotivated, apathetic or even lazy to you. But the truth is, they value freedom and flexibility more than you do and are willing to give up a few gold stars in favor of a more relaxed lifestyle. For them, your life can seem very structured, routine and just plain boring.

You are likely to experience some conflict over your different approaches to life. You want the other person to take it seriously, make plans, and (for once!) stick to something. On the other hand, they will urge you to relax, unwind and enjoy life. While this can be potentially upsetting for both of you, it is also an opportunity for both of you to explore a new lifestyle. Your partner can help you be more spontaneous and make sure you enjoy all that life has to offer. In turn, it can help them improve their ability to be organized, persistent, and accountable when needed.

You both like people, and your life probably has plenty of room for friends, family, and social events. The two of you probably have large circles of friends and lots of parties and gatherings to attend. As you get to know each other, you'll likely be excited to introduce yourself to your social circles and enjoy meeting each other's friends and family to deepen your own bond.

You likely share an energetic approach to life and like to keep busy. You both tend to feel more alive when you get out and experience the world around you. In fact, your calendars may be dangerously full, as either of you is unlikely to turn down an opportunity to get out and do something interesting. Keeping up can be a challenge as you both tend to travel a lot. If your relationship is a priority, make sure your social calendar reflects that.

Daily life together can be very busy and lack time for reflection and introspection. Both like to be away from home, and the idea of ​​spending quiet time alone is often not very attractive. While this approach to life works well for both of you, make sure you keep the balance. Even the most outgoing person still needs a little time to be quiet, to think and reflect. And when you take the time to just focus on each other, you can discover new aspects of your relationship.

Organization can be a point of contention between the two of you. While you like to create structure in timelines, plans and systems, your counterpart is more relaxed. You may find that there are disagreements about these fundamental differences.

When you share a physical space, you may disagree about how clean, tidy, and organized it should be. You will tend to be more motivated to keep things in order, while your counterpart has less of a need for organization.

Often the more organized person in a relationship like yours takes on more responsibility simply because they are more aware of what needs to be done. This can lead to resentment and imbalance in the relationship. You may feel like an "adult" in the relationship while the other person feels bored and uncomfortable.

The best way to approach conflict in this area is to frame your own organizational desire as just that: something you want. It's often unproductive to try to convince your partner that your structured, orderly way of doing things is the "right" way, but if you just voice your own preferences, he may be more open to trying to please you. .

Scheduling can also be a strain for both of you, as you like to keep things open-ended while preferring to be planned and worked out. Again, commitment is key. The first step is to realize that you have different approaches and that each style has its advantages. Then, try to make sure your time together includes planned events and free time for spontaneity so everyone has a chance to be their best.

You both want to know who you are and where you are in the world, and you probably share a tendency to maintain traditions that you can respect and value. While they may not share any particular hobbies, both will be interested in history and tradition and will celebrate important rituals like birthdays and anniversaries.

For both, actions speak louder than words. You enjoy experiences and likely share a common interest in activities that stimulate your senses or body in some way, be it cooking, bungee jumping or crafts. You might even find that doing things together is a great way to grow closer.

You remember events as snapshots of what actually happened, and you have a low tolerance for metaphorical language and esoteric thinking. Both live life in the moment and are good at thinking fast. This mutual love of “doing” things in the here and now is exhilarating for both of you and helps keep things running smoothly between you. However, at times of unplanned changes in your life, both of you are likely to become a little indecisive and moody. Remember, planning for the future, with all the flexibility that comes with it, is the key to your long-term happiness.